Off-Season Reflections
As January passed and February unfolds, many of us seasonal forestry technicians know that summer will be arriving in a few short months, maybe even weeks.
This off-season has been filled with adventures, many trips to the dog park, as well as M., my fiancé, and I getting our fill of Vice documentaries and Netflix. For me, the winter months have also been filled with space. Space to just be. To reflect. Learn. Develop. To make sense of things, to get lost in ideas, not rushing. Being a wildland firefighter is not like any job I’ve had in the past, or ever imagined. Having space and time to reflect on this new field of work, and life itself, has been very significant for me.
People aren’t perfect.
Days don’t always go as planned.
And that’s ok.
That’s life!
How you play the hand you’re dealt is what matters. And that is kind of the moral of this story, how all my thoughts organized themselves.
I want to be as real as I can with you the reader. To be raw, and talk about the concepts of emotions and human interaction; and that none of us are utopian. In this I hope I was able to highlight those imperfections as I bring you on part of my journey of growing as a human being and a firefighter. The title “wildland firefighter” is viewed as heroic, associated with courage and almighty selflessness. But we are people just like everyone else. And I feel the need to express my experience with this job title, and how I’ve seen this line of work affect others.
There were quite a few times when I doubted how I wanted to present these thoughts, or if they should even be sent out into the world wide web in the first place.
You cannot swim for new horizons until you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.
- William Faulkner
Ah, thank you Mr. Faulkner, ‘twas only the voice of my inner critic saying, no one else talks about this, who would care, it’s out of line!
I believe that being honest with ourselves and others is a vital step towards a greater good. I believe self-development can improve the field I work in. And I hope that this piece serves as a guide to understanding yourself, the human species, and one perspective in the community of wildland firefighting.
TIME
In the typical 9-5 job working 40 hours a week, by NYE you will have put in about 1,800-1,900 hours. That’s not factoring in commute time, sick days, holidays, etc. Honestly, I just punched those numbers out for this piece and it’s kind of crazy the amount of time we spend working every year! As a forestry tech in fire though, that’s how many hours you clock in - but in half the time. A little more or a little less depending on what kind of crew you work on and how busy the summer is. I know!! That’s a lot. And why by the end of the season, most are ready to be done and have a break from seeing the faces of people they have been with practically every single minute the past 6 months. That also means there is generally no time to do, think, or see anything else during those 6 months other than fire. In this job, “work/life balance” has unique context. *insert chuckle*
The organization of time has also changed my perception of it. In fire, there’s two parts to our calendar year. Fire season and the off-season. 6 months on, 6 months off. A bit different for a permanent employee, but in essence there are these two drastically different periods of time for us temporary folks. During one segment all there seems to be is work, and the next you aren’t sure what to do with this wide-open schedule! With this change in schedule, I’ve learned; I am grateful for all the moments in my life, no matter what section of time it falls in. Because each period of time flows along with the changing of the seasons; each hold a unique purpose and rhythm. And along with that, I have simply been more conscious of my daily activities, the love given and received, and the interconnection of everything and everyone in my life.
But ya know, sometimes there’s still bumps in the road. Sometimes we have those periods of time in life where you feel stuck, like it feels like you’re falling apart, or you’re just thinking what the f*ck is going on. Well, my second season was one of those what the f*ck times in my life. I believe there were quite a few factors that played into my roller coaster-like emotional state throughout the summer; everything happened for a reason though, and today I feel like a completely different person than I was last year, even compared to the end of the season in October.
Time was a blessing and a curse in regards to growing as a person over the past year or so. At first it was a curse - there are not many moments for yourself during the season. I would cry and be confused get angry tear up more be happy cry again love my job again then frustrated again, not being able to figure out why I was getting upset. Along with that, I felt like I had no control in how I reacted. But alas, the off-season. A blessing. An abundance of time.
The first season involved learning the basics, familiarizing myself, getting my toes wet. The second time around I sort of dove into some of the inter-workings of wildland firefighting. And at the end of the summer, reflect on my experience with it all.
STRUCTURE & COMMUNICATION
People suggested the Air Force and other branches of the military growing up, but I was always like, Nah, that’s not for me. I’m a free bird baby. The rigidity of it all never appealed to me. And after looking into my Myers Briggs personality type again not too long ago, some of the traits I resonated with all too well made me realize why I had some resentment at times during work. (I’m an ENFP by the way, “Extroverted iNtuitive Feeling Perceiving”)
Where ENFPs do not shine is in systems of strict regimentation and hierarchy, such as military service. ENFPs thrive on the ability to question the status quo and explore the alternatives, and if this is a quality that is not just unappreciated but actually frowned upon, this will not only make them unhappy, but it may even threaten their emotional stability.
from 16personalities.com
Well hot damn.
Unlike other jobs I’ve held where you have multiple levels of correspondence, and was used to the fluidity in previous employment, wildland fire has a ladder of communication and authority; a handful of firefighters who have been in the service have commented on the similarities of structure and other aspects. The military and fire are definitely two different entities though! Anyways, I was used to working alongside higher management, going to networking events, and essentially talking to anyone and everyone. Then I got a fire job. So really, this isn’t a dealbreaker; but it does push back on my ability to question everything and bring up other options. With time though, I’ll be communicating with more people, have more connections… all the things that I love and give me life. And my plan is to eventually complete a PIOF (Public Information Officer) task book*. Essentially, PIOF’s are responsible for communicating information about the incident (fire) to personnel on the fire, local communities, and the news media. I’m getting excited just typing about it.
*side note:
What is a task book, you may ask? Task books are the evaluation tools used to earn qualifications through on-the-job training. That’s also a super awesome thing about wildland fire. You don’t need a degree or special training prior to getting into the field. You eventually gain qualifications and knowledge through experience to make a career out of it. Badass, right??
I may not like it sometimes, but the hierarchy structure can be very valuable, especially when it comes to safety and accomplishing assignments. This set up is vital to ensure all resources are on the same page of who’s doing what, where the fire is at, etc. Another aspect of communication is the utilization of AAR’s (After Action Reviews). The use of them varies from crew to crew or district to district, but a lot can be accomplished and understood, even with a quick AAR after a shift or assignment. It’s a way to talk about what the initial plan was, what happened, and how we can learn from it/do better next time. And it also offers a chance to have that fluid communication across all levels of position, and have transparency amongst the in’s and out’s of an operation.
With that being said though - I will still persist in questioning the status quo and exploring alternatives. This piece is a way for me to break the mold and look at things from a different perspective. So keep your eyes peeled for other ways I’m making waves. ;)
MASCULINE & FEMININE
In wildland fire, it’s necessary for some of those “alpha” qualities, like taking charge and getting things done. That can-do attitude that most firefighters have lived by and still do. Those traits are what power the miles of line dug, trees snagged, and every other task that is assigned to crews. We are proud of the work we get accomplished!! That attitude can make a twenty-man crew an unstoppable force, and an initial start taken care of in no time. The masculine traits of perseverance, courage, and goal orientation are vital. But masculine traits do not translate to MACHO, I AM MAN, GRUNT GRUNT. Masculine and feminine traits have nothing to do with gender, and I think that gets confused and is not understood in the fire culture as a whole.
Our human qualities can be categorized as feminine or masculine, yin or yang. And they can also be attributed to the three Ayurvedic doshas/energies we all possess.
Below are a few images to help explain those categorizations, how we all hold those energies, and recognizing an imbalance.
The last 3 are segments of the transcript from the Higher Self podcast, where Sahara Rose talks about taking away the association of gender from our personality traits and recognizing them as the constitutes of Vata, Pitta, and Kapha (the Ayurvedic doshas).
side note:
So I wanted to have a more thorough explanation of our personality traits and masculine & feminine qualities… it has been quite a challenge to remember where I read or heard a lot of the information that’s stored up in my noggin about the topic. The infographics are not as comprehensive as I originally wanted them all to be, but I still believe it is pertinent to view our qualities as neutral or associated to energies. There are links in the Additional Information section at the end for more info on this Ayurvedic talk about doshas.
Back to fire! By understanding imbalances in our energies, you might be able to recognize some qualities and behavior that you have witnessed or taken part in yourself. As you saw in the first image: foolish risk-taking, bravado, fear, anger… those are unbalanced qualities. These are the things that can impact the results of operational decisions, the vibe and communication within a crew, as well as personal safety. And no-one likes to deal with arrogant assholes, right?
Macho culture is learned/ingrained, subconsciously following example because “that’s how it’s always been done.” An example: if someone saw another crew member completing assignments in FFT1* training, and their temperament becomes angry when they are in a stressful situation with limited information or hold themselves in a higher and machismo way - that will be learned as the way to act and ok when they follow suit in completing their own task book.
*another side note:
FFT1 = Firefighter Type 1
And I know for many folks completing their FFT1 task book, this may be one of the first times in a position of leadership like that. So yea, shit might get fucked up, it’ll be stressful and nerve-wracking, and there’s a lot to learn. But from that example, we can learn that: we should be understanding of others (people are learning), we can respond and not react (not just run with whatever thoughts are flowing through your mind), and that things like more leadership classes could be incorporated to ensure a healthy understanding of what leadership is (leader vs powerful position, and more than the L classes that are already in place).
a page from the FFT1 position task book, NWCG.gov [FFT1 and ICT5’s share some common tasks, as shown by the title of the page]
No one is perfect, and with this job it can be hard to have patience day in and day out. That should not translate to excusing poor leadership or any other inefficient action due to learned behavior as the routine. One of my goals as I move forward in this line of work is to be aware of how I am communicating. To lead by example, hopefully to be perceived as a patient, diligent, strong, knowledgable, and empathetic leader and crew member. This will not be achieved though if I am not aware of myself and understanding of others.
UNDERSTANDING & SELF-AWARENESS
People have bad days. We are all in our heads, thoughts whirling around, dealing with our own problems and analyzing the external world we interact with. A lot of men in this field might not admit it around their peers, but we all have battles whether we realize it or not. We all have “feelings”, and stir around “crazy and irrational” things. What I’ve realized these past few summers though is that a lot of guys and gals are really good at not letting others’ emotions affect them and/or hiding it very well. Or at least, they react & respond in a way that may be different from others.
For example, me. I’m not one to get angry back or start an argument when someone is unleashing their emotions into what should be a neutral conversation of direction, assignment, or feedback. And especially when I was in emotional turmoil last summer? Whew, I could not take any criticism, whether it was constructive or destructive! I got angry, but when I get mad.. I cry quietly to myself. Retreat inward.. Not productive behavior.
The point of that story was that I was in the midst of a long, internal battle, and I ended up REACTING rather than RESPONDING to situations - like taking in feedback of my work. I let my softhearted nature be the Achilles’ heel, rather than a strong quality to contribute to the team. To summarize a bit of those reactions… The feedback would be a trigger, and it hurt my ego - like I was failing, I wasn’t good at my job, and I felt like I was wrong more often than not (which wasn’t true!) And further more, I see a lot of this in people I’ve worked with or observed while on assignment.
Example: Division is a piss ant that nobody likes. This makes Crew Boss angry. Crew Boss informs Lead on new assignment in a nasty tone because Division made Crew Boss angry. Lead gathers crew to pass along assignment. Crew Member asks a pertinent question, Lead gets snappy and barks out a response. Crew Members get mad because Lead seems to be mad at them.
Someone gets pissed off because of someone else’s actions, and it just rolls on down the line, making everyone else stressed out, angry, all the feels.
Thoughts…
At first I wondered, “Is this a natural tendency of men?”
Well no, I was taking part in the same behavior. So, is it:
The personalties of people attracted to this field of work?
I’d stand by the assumption that we all have similar views of our own success’, failures, pride, etc.
Or is it simply learned, and no one realizes they are spreading the bad juju around themselves by not taking a second to let the emotion pass and then continue about their day?
I believe the latter is the major factor in this cyclical emotional state, and now it seems like the norm. Whatever it may be though, I have goals for myself to not be apart of the behavior I don’t like. To keep developing my own awareness, and be conscious of permeating my own problems onto other people. Understanding that everyone is going through their own battles, struggling with their own ego. And to not take shit personally all the time - more on this later. #majorkey
BOUNDARIES, FAMILY DYNAMICS & LOVE
The people you work with feel like family whether you like them or not. You can’t pick your family, right?? *haha*
You go to hell and back together. Laugh together. Eat spike camp food together. Drive to assignments together. PT together. EVERYTHING you do is with your crew. And because of the closeness, I realized at some point that it is hard to set boundaries. I like to share, have deep convo’s, and essentially I low-key want to be everyone’s friend if I see good vibes in them. It’s hard to be a co-worker, friend, therapist, and leader all at the same time though. Aka, my empathetic nature leads to overwhelming exhaustion if not watched carefully. Since we don’t see anyone else ever, and phone service can be crappy, what remains is your crew family to talk and vent with and be the social creatures we are.
I’m sure y’all understand the concept of work family, because we all have jobs. But damn, your crew family is something completely different. Some of the friendships made during the season carry on into the off-season, and that’s a beautiful thing. Other times, they don’t. Especially if you travel out-of-state for your seasonal job, it can be hard to maintain that contact.
You may have seen headlines about suicide rates in the world of wildland firefighting. It’s sad to read, and to hear about. As I mentioned at the beginning of this piece, wildland firefighters are people, too. Calling us heroes and that we’ve so brave corners us onto a pedestal, with not a lot of room to navigate our personal and professional lives from up there. And suicide tends to be a taboo subject in this small-town world, and we need to make mental health a normal thing to talk about, to care about it.
Here’s an excerpt from an article in Wildfire Today, written by Bill Gabbert:
Assuming for a moment that there are 17,000 wildland firefighters in the United States, approximately 0.3 percent of them took their own lives in 2015 and 2016 — a shocking percentage.
Most firefighters in general, and in particular, wildland firefighters, have a macho, can-do attitude, regardless of their gender. Just give them an objective, and they will figure out how to get it done, with little or no outside help. This can carry over into their personal lives and mental state. When the fire season is over their environment may shift from being part of a close brotherhood working with their buddies for long hours toward a common goal, to something completely different. The reduction in adrenaline and accomplishment of important tasks is more difficult for some to adjust to than others. Suicide rates can rise during the wildland fire off-season.
I hadn’t read the above article prior to writing the bulk of the “masculine & feminine” section, but this shows that misconceptions about mental health and our human nature can be harmful. We have intimate crew families, as well as the “big small-town” community of wildland firefighting to help each other out. Yet the same qualities that lead us to success in the field hinder our ability to be human and express our needs in the off-season.
And here’s an except from an issue of Two More Chains, a quarterly publication from the Wildland Fire Lessons Learned Center.
Shawna [Legarza] continues, “As wildland firefighters, we’ve always been people who like the hard assignments. But, you know, over time these tough assignments, these things that we see and do in our careers, can start to wear you down. What I think we can do moving forward is have more awareness about the fact that it’s OK to ask for help if you think you need help.”
More about Shawna Legarza in Additional Information at the end.
I think this job tests our strength not only physically, but mentally and emotionally. I don’t have the magical spell to normalize the discussion of mental health, or to make people look inward and try to understand how they’re wired. But I’m hoping that leading by example and not letting the topic be dismissed with jokes is the first step. And that it’ll seem easier and more natural to reach out to each other when we aren’t feeling our best. We pick each other up while we work, and we should do the same when we’re back at home.
Switching gears a bit to something I’m working on…
Appreciating (and making) time with myself.
This off-season, M. and I have had a lot of time to spend with each other, which is amazing since he is a hotshot during the summer so our time together while employed is few and far between. But the love-bug that bit me when we met was an unfamiliar experience for me. I don’t know if it’s a Virgo thing, or a combination of other characteristics, but I’m either out - or ALL IN. That goes for love, too. To sum up the feels, I realized that last season I wasn’t fully appreciating our time apart; for us to grow and gain experiences, and then come together in the fall to learn from each other. So through the off-season, I have been learning to appreciate the joyous days we spend together, as well as appreciating the time I make for myself. Not that I never loved time with myself prior to now; this new chapter in my life required me to take a step back and understand that I needed to adapt the boundaries in my romantic relationship and work relationships. To allow for space. Space to just be. And that those relationships are going to ebb and flow throughout the year, and in different ways - back to that unique work/life balance I mentioned earlier. I need stay accountable and show myself some self-love (and not just be preaching it all the time). ;)
That also includes finding a balance with work relationships. When the summer comes to an end, it can be refreshing to have the change of pace; yet a bit drastic when you think about all the people you were talking to and laughing with every day… and suddenly don’t. Like in the excerpt from Wildfire Today, you go from a close-knit environment to something completely different. Some relationships will stay strong with frequent communication through the winter. With others come guidance or commenting on social media posts periodically. And you may not speak with someone again until your first day back in greens for the year, asking about each other’s off-seasons and how things have been. So I believe it is important to make YOU yourself happy and first priority, and focus on the joys & tribulations of other relationships and material pleasures second. You need to be comfortable with yourself. That makes the transition a little less of a disastrous tsunami, and more like the natural rhythm of high and low tides.
I fortunately have not lost someone close to me to suicide, nor have I experienced feelings of suicide; so I am no expert and hope I am not misinterpreting information on the subject. But from what I’ve observed and read, I believe it is important to talk about how you’re feeling during the off-season, at a time when you don’t have that camaraderie the majority of us in this line of work crave and treasure. Because being comfortable by ourselves can be a hard thing to do; we are social creatures after all. We need to find comfort within ourselves. Nourish ourselves. Love ourselves. And we need to love each other. Help each other. The fire community is an amazing network of people, and I think we should all continue to show up for one another, maybe even more so than we already do. Even if you’re afraid to reach out to someone - do it anyway.
SHIT & GIVING A FUCK
The old saying goes that no matter where you go, there you are. Well, the same is true for adversity and failure. No matter where you go, there’s a five-hundred-pound load of shit waiting for you. And that’s perfectly fine. The point is to find the shit you enjoy dealing with.
- Mark Manson, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”
On the last off-forest assignment of the season, one of my crew members had recently downloaded The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck audiobook, and we started to listen to it at the end of a shift. I was hooked, and delved into the kindle version on my phone whenever there was down time. This book was one of the katalysts to thinking about my own mental health with some clarity, in a new light; it was essentially closing out the what the f*ck time in my life. Because it was the EGO fucking shit up and making my life seem like hell. In reality, life was pretty fantastic minus a few piles of shit! This snowballed into a stream of experiences and people and things and thoughts that led me to the views on my Self and mental health I hold today.
The quote above is one of my favorite parts from the book. No matter what duty station you work at, what kind of crew you’re on… There is always going to be the smell of shit, and you’ll probably step in it at some point. But what matters is that stepping in shit isn’t a big problem unless you make it one. No matter how you make money, what position you hold, there will always be shit - but it’s up to you to look past it and be grateful for the pristine yet smelly pasture you work in.
And, what shit you are willing to put up with? Are the sacrifices worth while, are boundaries acknowledged, do people respect your values, do you respect the values of the organization you work for? As Manson would probably say: what shit is worth your fucks?
There’s no such thing as not giving a fuck. You must give a fuck about something. It’s part of our biology to always care about something and therefore to always give a fuck.
The question, then, is What do we give a fuck about? What are we choosing to give a fuck about? And how can we not give a fuck about what ultimately does not matter?- Mark Manson, “The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck”
A lot of the shit I was fretting about and thought was horrible - in reality, it was me giving too many fucks about the situation. Which left me drained most of the time. Earlier I mentioned that many people seem really good at not letting others’ emotions affect them; people have told me and I’ve learned through experience… you just need thick skin for this job. There’s a lot of shit begging for energy and attention, but you have to be able to discern what deserves your fucks. Picking battles, thinking about what really matters in the grand scheme of things. I thought I had a good handle on looking at the big picture and what holds value at the end of the day, but being a wildland firefighter magnifies this capability (or lack of) - and I am thankful for that. I’m a stronger person because of this job; physically, mentally, and emotionally. I can step back and decide what I should take personally or not internalize. I have more confidence in my ability to perform tasks, lead, and communicate with others. I’m more outspoken in my beliefs and boundaries, professionally and personally. Don’t get me wrong, I still make mistakes and struggle to keep communicating. But those are skills I will keep developing and working on every day as I continue a career with fire and living this crazy wonderful life on planet earth.
As you can see, this piece flowed a bit differently than my previous blog posts about fire. And I am BEYOND excited to head into my third season. Helitack will be a big change from the fuels crew life I’m familiar with, but I am grateful for this opportunity to be the best firefighter (ahem, Forestry Technician) and best version of myself I can be as I take on new challenges and adventures.
I’ll close out with this:
I believe that being honest with ourselves and others is a vital step towards a greater good. I believe self-development can improve the field I work in. And I hope that this piece serves as a guide to understanding yourself, the human species, and my perspective in wildland firefighting.
selfie time (2018)
ADDITIONAL INFORMATION:
Intro to Ayurveda: The Three Doshas | Yoga Journal
Highest Self Podcast 086: Why Feminine Doesn’t Mean Weak and Masculine Doesn’t Mean Strong | Sahara Rose
Suicide rate among wildland firefighters is “astronomical” | Wildfire Today
Suicide in the Wildland Fire Service | Two More Chains
Shawna Legarza worked her way through college as a wildland firefighter, and decided to keep pursuing her summer job and eventually became the Superintendent of the San Juan IHC (interagency hotshot crew). Shawna lost her husband to suicide, who was also a wildland firefighter. I highly suggest reading her take on mental health in the Two More Chains issue, and she also has a book titled No Grass if you want to learn more about her story.
The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck | Mark Manson
21 Things I Learned as a Woman Wildland Firefighter
The list compiled does not even begin to cover all the skills and tricks I familiarized myself with during the summer...
Here you go, my friends. I give you: 21 things I learned as a woman wildland firefighter.
FIGHTING FIRES - HOW DO YOU EVEN GET INTO THAT?
I get asked that quite frequently. Where I grew up in northeast Washington though, it was not an unfamiliar job pursuit. Neither was working at the gold mine. # small town life
After graduating high school I began working at our local ranger district in the silviculture department for the summer before heading off to college in the fall.
Silviculture - the art and science of controlling the establishment, growth, composition, and quality of forest vegetation for the full range of forest resource objectives.
I LOVED it. I was outside all day (even though the early mornings were not always my favorite), recorded data, and was a small help in giving the Colville National Forest a bright future.
Come the spring of 2014 though, it had come to the point where it was freaking expensive to fly back and forth to the PNW for the summers, so I stayed put in Kentucky as I finished out my degree. Not being able to go back and work for the Forest Service for another summer was heartbreaking.
I cried my eyes out. Sobbing. Like a toddler.
*fast forward though my life a little bit*
When I finished the long five years earning my bachelor's degree I thought,
"Well - I have no idea what I want to do." typical post-graduation thought
Side note: I am an ENFP (thanks to the Myers Briggs personality test). Not only was I a graduate still figuring out my life, as an ENFP - I love everything. I have so many interests and passions that it is hard to stick to one single field/job for very long.
So.
What did my Extraverted, iNtuitive, Feeling, Perceiving self do?
Got my apartment sub-leased, couch surfed for a month, packed my Kia Soul with whatever fit and drove across the country to Arizona where my parents live. And prior to heading back west, I knew I missed fresh air and honest work - so I shot a few applications out; fish hatchery tech in Alaska, trails up keep in southern California, and a fire suppression job in Happy Jack, Arizona.
The day I crossed the New Mexico/Arizona state line, I received a call from the fire district office in Happy Jack.
*cue sun rays breaking through the clouds and a glitter spectacular*
UNIVERSE - YOU'VE OUTDONE YOURSELF
And with that, I was staged at my parent's for a few weeks before driving up to the Coconino NF in northern Arizona to begin a new adventure.
Below: a few images from my two summers in silviculture in Republic, Washington.
Now that you know how I got into fighting fires.
The list compiled does not even begin to cover all the skills and tricks I familiarized myself with during the summer. There are many different positions and fields of work within wildland fire. With that being said, someone working on an engine will have a different perspective than a first time fuels crew member or a hotshot's seventh year.
Brief overview of what I did:
Job Title - Forestry Aid (Fire Suppression), type 2 wildland firefighter
Crew 9 Fuels, based in Happy Jack, Arizona on the Coconino National Forest
Also, as a few of my co-workers and I were laughing and reflecting about "what we learned on a hand crew", we realized many things we learned pertained to us as women. You'll see what I mean later. And hence the post title.
Whether you are interested in pursuing this line of work or simply intrigued by what we do:
Here you go, my friends. I give you...
21 THINGS I LEARNED AS A WOMAN WILDLAND FIREFIGHTER
1. DON'T BE LAST
Be efficient, productive, and timely. As my high school driver's ed/history teacher/basketball coach always said,
"If you're early, you're on time. If you're on time, you're late."
2. SUB-CULTURE
Like any other sub-culture or job field, there is a separate language.
Monkey paw
Hose lay
ICP
Mark 3
Dolmar
Region 3
DP
Cat-facing
TAC 3
A small example of some of the terms I had no idea what they meant or what to do with them. But eventually I grew into the culture and was able to talk and act like a local by the end of the season.
3. MUSIC
For the dead-zones in Utah, the down time between dinner and lights out, and jamming out on the way back to station or camp to finish out a sixteen hour day. Music is key. Some crew trucks have standards and you might be kicked off the aux. But on Crew 9, we rotated DJ power and listened to everything under the sun - so make sure you have a music library on your phone or a separate iPod/MP3.
FYI - the limit DOES exist on Spotify downloads.
The next four cover the "essentials"
4. BOXER BRIEFS
Yes, that's right.
Men's boxer briefs - they change the game.
Your upper thighs feel more protected, while also keeping them a little warmer on the chilly fall days. The higher waistband also prevents chaffing from your nomex pants or sweaty shirt. It is also WAY easier to get ready in the mornings at fire camp. First, picture this: sleeping on the ground surrounded by fifteen or more men within a close proximity. With panties, I would be squirming around in my sleeping bag trying to slip my pants on for a day of work. With briefs, they are essentially like wearing long inseam spandex. Now when the 0545 alarm goes off, I can hop out of my sleeping bag and be standing while putting my nomex on. Life became SO much easier.
And you can never pack enough underwear or socks on a travel assignment (which is when you are gone for about two weeks as a resource for another state/forest). You do not want to weigh down your bags with unnecessary items, but you will thank yourself later for packing a clean pair of underwear for every day that you are gone. Even if you do not change them every day..
5. FEM HYGIENE
Also something you can never have enough of - pads and tampons.
After the first summer of fighting fires, I preferred pads over tampons for work. Stash them in your pack, your pockets, day pack, two-week bag, and your bin on the crew truck. ALWAYS be prepared.
(Did anyone catch that pun I threw down?)
Later in the season a fellow woman fire fighter suggested using a diva cup. I thought boxer briefs were a game changer, so if she thought diva cups changed her life then - well, there will be an edit to this list next summer. And considering the environment we work in, diva cups would make bathroom breaks WAY less complicated.
EDIT 3/28/19: About a year after publishing this, I purchased the Lena menstrual cup. Personally, it’s not for me right now! Which is unfortunate because I can envision how efficient and less wasteful it would be. I’ve recently switched to using 100% cotton non-applicator tampons though; so if I’m just using tampons while working, I can have worry-free, biodegradable bathroom breaks this summer. Sometimes I’ll wear a pad or liner too for back-up protection.
And yes, you can work ferociously (and harder than some of the guys) even while surviving a long and awful visit from Mother Nature. It is a struggle, but it can be done.
6. STASH SNACKS
There were instances when what was originally planned to be a moderate day of working for eight hours turns into six hours of over-time and my lunch gone by 1500 (aka 3:00pm). To prevent hanger on trips back to station and for any unplanned circumstances - have extra food. My go-to's were applesauce, gold fish, Clif bars, and protein shakes. It is also valuable to have extra snacks when you are on a resource order. Like the days there is a reuben sandwich in the lunch, or third day in a row of spicy pickles? I was always grateful to have a stash of gold fish in the truck bin. Or crew members willing to trade their Oreo's and hard boiled eggs for your sandwich and pickle. Negotiating skills are also a very valuable asset for this job if you want to thrive and not survive. # snack master
7. CARDS, A GOOD BOOK, AND TENNIS BALLS
Make sure you have a deck of cards, one or two good (preferably small in size) books, and a package of tennis balls somewhere in the truck. Trust me.
8. THERE IS A WAKE UP TIME
At camp while traveling, there is a wake up time to start the day. You wake up at that time. No earlier. And unless you are Speed Racer, no later (refer back to #1).
9. FOLLOW THE CHAIN OF COMMAND
Just do it.
10. PUT YOUR LUNCH IN YOUR PACK
To me this was one of the most important things I took away from the first season of fire. Being on a crew is all about routine. Putting my lunch in my pack every morning at camp before the crew boss came back from briefing was one more step towards being ready for anything the day threw at us. Along with work ethic, I believe your morning routine and work habits are what will make or break you in this field.
11. GET VERIZON
During my first resource order, we ended up traveling to Happy Camp, California to work on a fire on the Klamath National Forest. AT&T has absolutely no service there. Luckily one of my co-workers let me text my parents on her phone to let them know I was alive and not ignoring their messages or phone calls. As the summer progressed, I noticed Verizon had way more coverage than any other cell provider no matter where we were working.
12. A SOLID DAY PACK - MAJOR KEY
I was definitely not prepared when I accepted the job.
A day pack is something you will have with you every day for work. It may hold your PT clothes, a book, tooth brush, water bottle... Essentially, your essentials for travel assignments and day-to-day work life. That was a lot of essential.
The only backpack I had prior to the season was a large, black Adidas one that I obtained through athletics at the University of Louisville. In track & field, a big back pack was great because it fit everything you needed and could also serve as a back rest/pillow. In fire, not so much. It was constantly bulky even when not filled to capacity, would not fit in the side bin, and was a pain to move around. For next season I invested in an "Eggplant Purple" Osprey pack from REI, which can be used for hikes during the winter and a streamlined, stylish day pack during the summer.
# major key # style
13. BATHROOM/NAP BREAKS - TAKE THEM
It could be a long time until the next rest break, and no one wants to be around you later in the day if you turn into Moody Judy or Negative Nancy.
It's like being a child again.
14. DON'T BE SHY - JUST PULL EM DOWN
Speaking of bathroom breaks. As a woman, peeing requires the pants and underwear to come down. Which means you would want a private space to relieve yourself, right? Let me tell ya - it got exhausting having to walk a hundred miles away to make sure no one could see me stripping down before I peed myself. Stating to the group, "I'm peeing, no one look over here" is the go-to strategy now.
We are all humans, and we all poop and pee. That is honestly one of the best aspects of fire; you do not have to hold back or feel embarrassed about bodily functions. It's natural. Every fart can be released and no burp has to be excused.
15. DO NOT SHOWER - BUT SHOWER EVERY CHANCE YOU GET
Seems like a contradiction, right? I'll explain.
Do not shower in the fire camp showers. Unless you get "the oak." Poison oak, that is. I have heard many horror stories; feet fungus, unknown substances on the walls..
Even though the Montana showers, and in general all the camps, were kept up nicely, not showering while on a travel role makes it easier dealing with everyone else that is not keeping the best hygiene. After a few days you get used to the smell of your crew, including your stinky self. Being unbathed also makes the activity of pulling your pants on for the last day of work (and it is the fourteenth day of wearing those pair of nomex) not as gross. My current record is fifteen days without one.
And that first hot, hotel shower? Literally heaven flowing from the plumbing.
There will be portable sinks and such though. One of my crew members and I would go to the wash station together most evenings to brush our teeth and clean our faces. A semblance of clean in the dirty world of fire fighting.
EDIT 3/28/19: After two season I still haven’t showered in the camp showers, but I have taken many “baby wipe bathes”. In my opinion, they are quicker and plenty sufficient so you can spend more time sleeping, calling loved ones, or shooting the shit with your crew at the end of the day.
But if you are staging during a resource order, or get to go back to you living quarters after a long day of digging line - take the opportunity to shower! You might not have the chance to bathe the next day.. or fourteen days.
16. "HAPPY CAMP" IS NOT A HAPPY PLACE
Humidity. Heat. Mosquitoes. Poison oak. The main reason for setting up a tent was so I could lay naked on top of my thermarest pad in hopes of the sweat evaporating quickly, wishing for a peaceful five to six hours of sleep.
I had always thought so fondly of California.
Beautiful. But so. Much. Sweat...
17. THERE IS NO NEED FOR A TENT UNLESS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY
Not setting up a tent saves so much valuable time.
Eight minutes* might not seem very long. But at 0530, those minutes are priceless.
Falling asleep to a starry Montana sky without a tent obstructing your view is also priceless.
*Tent set up and break down time varies from person to person. "Eight minutes" is merely a guesstimate.
18. TEAMWORK MAKES THE DREAM WORK
From getting the truck checks completed, lifting heavy equipment, to tackling a spot fire - we are always working together. It is amazing what a crew can accomplish in a day, even in a few hours! Teamwork really does make the dream work.
19. PEOPLE FORGET THEY WERE BEGINNERS ONCE
Work can become so ingrained that everything comes natural due to habit. I have witnessed this in other jobs, lecture halls, and even observing parents with their children. In fire the notion of "what do you mean you don't know this *scough*" seemed to be much more prevalent. And this was one of the hardest obstacles to tackle as I was learning throughout the summer.
**EDIT**
Originally I ended #19 with, "So as the season progressed, I asked less questions, and leaned more toward the unwritten rule of, 'do what everyone else is doing.'"
A good friend of mine, who I also worked with this summer, stated in a comment on this post, "Screw number 19, ask questions and if they don't like it tell them they need to be a better leader, not an ass." Thank you for reminding me to be honest so everyone, including myself, can grow and understand how that progress can happen.
That original concluding line translates to,
"I LEARNED TO ONLY ASK CERTAIN QUESTIONS TO CERTAIN INDIVIDUALS."
And that is not ok.
The more inexperienced you were, the more audacious it was to have an opinion or ask a question. Um, excuse me? I respect the idea of the chain of command. However - if less experienced seasonal employees are expected to be passive, how can improvement occur at the individual, crew, or even district level? If change can not be communicated up the chain of leaders, then how can the concept of expressing concerns and questions be followed through?
Whether I make a career out of Fire & Fuels or only enjoy a few more seasons, I hope that I can katalyze an open-minded approach to leadership, communication, and problem analysis.
"That's just how it's been done" is old school. And honey - this ain't old school anymore. It is 2017 and time for change.
20. FEMININITY CAN AND WILL THRIVE IN A MAN'S WORLD
I am grateful beyond measure that I was able to have two strong women to work with during my first season. It is hard to think how I would look back on the summer if all of us weren't there to build each other up.
Masculinity certainly prevails in fire culture, but you know what counts at the end of the day? Hard work. Grit. Determination. The willingness to learn and be coached. Initiative. Attitude. And moving dirt quickly.
You do not have to be "one of the guys" to succeed in fire.
SIDE NOTE: I have a lot more to say about women in firefighting. That discussion is saved for another post. If you want to dig more into masculinity & femininity in fire, check out Off-Season Reflections.
I am comfortable with myself and all of my bodily functions (i.e. flatulence), and this job has made me feel even more free in my own skin. But that does not mean that I am not feminine, or I am not a woman. We should still be respected as women no matter what role we hold in the realm of fire.
I will rock platinum blonde hair and pink glitter nail polish.
*cue "Woman" by Diana Gordon, a cat walk floating on Victoria Secret angel wings, and sassy dance moves*
Below: the badass ladies I worked with July to November 2017, Elizabeth and Tina.
And pink glitter nail polish in action.
21. THIS IS THE BEST JOB EVER
What our job description should be:
move dirt
save forests
be outside all day
work hard
have fun
and enjoy huckleberry milkshakes in Montana
WANT MORE??
Click the links below to read more about what I’ve learned working as a wildland firefighter:
We’re Talking About Mental Health, But Are We Really Talking About It?
Discussion around mental health struggles in the fire community and tools to help take care of ourselves mentally. {February 2021}
Off-Season Reflections
Handling grumpy co-workers, learning to communicate better, trying to balance our crazy schedule, and a lot more. {February 2019}
And Another Season Begins
Facing my fear of using a chainsaw, the handy dandy Avenza app, and pictures from the beginning of the 2018 season. {July 2018}
Summer Through a Wildland Firefighter’s Eyes
The story of my first season on a fuels crew through pictures. (published on Medium.com) {March 2018}